The L.A. Sports Guru

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2008-10-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

Hell Hath No Fury...

2008-07-28T20:27:00.001-07:00

What is the deal with Brett Favre? Enough.

The Packers front office - seeing this as the perfect opportunity to wean their young star, Aaron Rogers off of Brett Favre's teet - forced him to retire. It is impossible to believe that anyone with as much passion for anything as Brett Favre has for football would ever quit, especially after such a magical season. It doesn't happen.

The Guru is a Favre fan - always have been and always will be. But, c'mon. Tonight, on the eve of the Tim Donaghy sentencing, the Angels buried Dice-K with a 6-run 6th inning in Boston. Big stories! You know what Sportscenter spent 15 minutes reporting on? Packers training camp.

Brett is the jealous ex-wife. Aaron is the hot new girlfriend.

Stay with me here.

The analogy goes like this: Wife meets husband. It's love at first site. Everyone immediately hits it off. After a few kids [see: Super Bowls], things taper off. Nothing exciting. So, husband seeks out a little something on the side. A little hottie by the name of Aaron - from California. Mediocrity at home continues. Then, husband starts bringing the new flame to parties [see: 11/29/07 @ Irving].

Now, wife gets a little more possessive. She sees the change. Nobody is hiding anything. So, as one last hurrah she plans something very special! A 13-3 regular season and one interception from another trip to the Big Game. Husband tells wife that things are over anyway. The flame can't be re-kindled. It is time to let go. So, begrudgingly, ways are parted.

Well, ex-wife is starting to show up at parties now - looking crazy. She's stealing the spotlight. Her make-up is all over the place. She's spouting off. The new wife waits patiently, but patience is beginning to wear thin.

My personal opinion? Glad you asked. I'd like to quote William Congreve (circ. 1697) here if I may. It was Bill who said, "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned." Need I say more?

The truth of the matter is, there are only two ways to deal with a situation like this. Bring your old lady back into the picture and deal - she did bear your children after all. Or, buy a one way ticket to Iceland with no plans of ever returning - until she's dead. She will win this war. She will make it her life goal. Her top priority. You will lose.

Do you think trading him is the answer? He'll dedicate his playing days to make yours a living hell.

Bring Favre back. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll leave on his own terms someday. Until then, it's bye-bye hottie. Hello again to the same woman you've been waking up next to over and over and over again for as long as you can remember.

Vintage Brett Favre Jerseys!

9/13/08 - Save the Date

2008-07-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

I have a friend - a nice guy. Let's call him "Sam". Sam's family is filthy rich. I grew up with him - we went to grade school together. Sam took the easy classes. He got decent grades. Then he got into a great college (his dad's alma mater). He barely made it through four years. He had a lot of fun. Sam graduated. And ever since that day, he has hop-scotched from company to company, job to job (where his parents have contacts) without making any progress in the real world.

How does someone get through the day like that? Sam walks through life with a safety net, only to lose, over and over again, when it really counts.

I have another friend who is a die-hard Ohio State Buckeye fan. After getting whipped by an SEC team for the second straight year in the BCS Championship game last January, he turned to me and said, "Well, it's better to get there an lose than not to get there at all."

And that got me thinking...

OSU is no different from a trust fund kid [see: Sam]. The OSU boosters are rich with cash. The recruits are rich with talent. Their schedule includes teams like Youngstown State, Ohio, Troy and Northwestern. They routinely cruise to a 9-0 record before they play Michigan in what is touted every year as the "greatest rivalry in college football". And then, somehow, they use their connections to sneak into the BCS Championship game only to get waxed by whichever SEC team they happen to play.

This is why I'm so excited for Saturday, September 13 when OSU travels to Southern Cal. The Buckeyes will get a taste of the real world BEFORE they graduate this year - a Fall internship. And I'll bet they won't get a chance to do so much as grab Pete Carroll's coffee before they drop out of school all together.

Back

2008-07-21T06:33:00.000-07:00

Back from sabbatical!

We've got a lot to cover: the Lakers' near miss in the NBA Finals, the Dodgers lead the NL West, the NBA draft, USC football, UCLA football, the upcoming NFL [see: fantasy] season, and why the Los Angels of Anaheim are the best team in baseball.

Also, nobody will be watching the Olympic Games this summer. I'll tell you why and how to change them so people will.

February

2008-01-26T20:48:00.000-08:00

When it rains, it pours. Riddled with injuries, most notably to prodigal center Andrew Bynum - scheduled to miss another six weeks of action with a knee injury - the Lakers' are preparing for a grueling nine game road tour of the Eastern Conference.

The Lake Show will miss slashing small forward Trevor Ariza, 6'10 sharpshooter Vladamir Radmonovic, and back-up center Chris Mihm on this trip. And to make matters worse, Team Captain Kobe Bryant went down twice in their most recent contest against the Dallas Mavericks. While the injuries ended up being minor, they are yet another sign that this team is hurting depth-wise. Ariza, out with a broken foot, will not be available to spell Bryant for another seven weeks.

But will the roadie really be that bad? I'm here to tell you that it won't. And this is why. As has been noted before in this very blog, this young team's chemistry is unwavering. And nothing bonds a team more than a road trip.

"They've lost three of their last four!" you say. "Kobe is going to tire himself out carrying the load."

That's true. But, take note...this team hasn't been blown out. They don't roll over. In fact, with the exception of the Phoenix game, the Lakers actually had control of the game for three of the four quarters. They shot 56% from the field in big D and lost! They lose control in the third quarter where they have been outscored 66-31 in their last two contests.

Controlling the third quarter is the mantra this team must embrace on this long, cold, ruthless road trip. If they can, a .500 record is not out of the question.

Kobe Bryant Vintage Apparel

All I want for Christmas...

2007-12-08T15:11:00.000-08:00

I know what I want for Christmas. I actually wanted him for my birthday over the summer but he was too much money. The price has fallen since then and I've come to realize that the market has shifted to the buyer's advantage. I want Jason Kidd. And I know I have what it takes to get him.

As has been reported, Jason Kidd is on strike. It's not a possibility, it's a fact. And this was only reinforced when he basically mailed it in (although mailing it in for Kidd means 10/7/7) against Houston Friday night. Eight of his 10 points came in the fourth quarter. Of course, this was after he "called in sick" for Wednesday's contest against the lowly New York Knicks.

Kidd is trying to force Nets GM, Rod Thorn's hand. He's saying without saying, "Extend me or trade me."

The love affair between Kidd, Kobe Bryant, and Phil Jackson is no secret. Kidd and Kobe were Team USA teammates over the summer. Mitch Kupchak's unwillingness to part with Andrew Bynum is the only reason Kidd is not a Laker today. And, of course, we all remember Phillip lambasting Bryant in his tell-all book, "The Last Season," actually requesting Kidd & Shawn Marion from the Phoenix Suns for Bryant.

All is quiet on the Laker front now for three reasons. First, they have posted a winning record without their defensive stud (yeah, I said "defensive stud"), Kwame Brown for most of the season. Second, the Bench Mob - with it's leave-it-all-on-the-floor attitude and ability to spell the starting rotation without losing much ground - is another major factor. Third, this team has chemistry.

Thankfully, the Lakers can immediately propel themselves into World Championship contention without screwing up chemistry. Here's how. The Lakers send Lamar Odom and Vladamir Radmonovich to the Nets for Kidd. The trade is appealing for Los Angeles for obvious reasons and addresses positional deficiencies in New Jersey.

You argue that Lamar is match-up nightmare and Vlad a dead-eye from three. I argue that Lamar has been consistently inconsistent his entire career and Vlad is overachieving thus far this year.

One intangible Lamar and Vlad will not have before it's too late is veteran leadership and that is something this team so badly needs.

USC vs. UCLA = BORING

2007-11-30T23:06:00.001-08:00

USC has the best college football team in the country today and everyone knows it. In fact, there isn't a single UCLA football player on offense or defense that would start on this Trojan team.

And while Angelenos have been force fed "rivalry week", "Battle for Los Angeles", and the "Jim Murray Trophy" all week, nobody is really biting.

Why? It's pretty simple. Aside from the fact so many of us are forced to tolerate USC fans - known nation wide as some of the most obnoxious , pretentious, narcissistic people on the planet - and asked to coddle UCLA alums - who suffer from one of the most awkwardly-transparent inferiority complexes known - nobody cares. The fans don't care, the players don't care, the coaches don't care, and the schools don't care (how about that USC/Coliseum negotiation debacle leaked to the press - class act, Troy).

What this game does offer, however, is a bunch of happy endings. And, I'm going to save you three and half hours that you almost wasted watching this beat-down and let you know what is going to happen.

USC wins: 42-3.

After going on to win a lowly-bowl game in December, Bruin head coach Karl Dorrell is fired.

Pete Carroll, fresh off a 21-point win over Ohio State in the Rose Bowl, resigns his post as USC's head coach and is named head coach/GM/President/Owner/President of the San Francisco 49'ers.

The USC Trojans play their last game in the barrio.

The USC alumni will fight that last one though. After all, has a Trojan ever leased a property from a Bruin?

www.thelakersguru.com/football

Bringing up Bynum

2007-11-28T13:25:00.000-08:00

Andrew Bynum is the next big thing. There's a reason Kobe isn't gone yet. Sure, Bryant has the best contract in professional sports - a contract that includes a now infamous no-trade clause. But, the real reason Kobe Bryant is still a Laker is because Andrew Bynum is still a Laker. A brief statistical analysis reveals the following...

Kobe Bryant ended his third season the NBA (1998-99) averaging 19.9 points, 5.3 rebounds, 3.8 assists, and 1.6 steals per game. Drew, currently in his third season of service, averages 11.1 PPG, 10.1 RPG, 1.4 APG, and 1.4 blocks per game.

"Big deal!" you say. "Shaq was a monster in his third season!" you cry. (Shaq was a beast by his third season by the way: 29.3/11.4/2.7/2.4). "He's a project!" you plead.

Kobe put up the aforementioned in a stike-shortened 50-game season. He started every game and averaged (averaged!) 38 minutes per game. In this third season, Shaq started each game and averaged 37 MPG.

The difference here comes down to opportunity. Drew has been the Lakers' starting center five of the Lakers 14 games this year. He has averaged 25.6 MPG.

Adjusting these statistics to fit comparable playing time, Bynum would average 16 PPG, 14.7 RPG, 2 APG, and 2 BPG. And this is as the team's third option! In addition, neither Shaq nor Kobe have seen such a skyrocket in statistical averages year-to-year as Drew. Compared to last year his scoring is up 42%, RPG up 71%, while his MPG are only up 16%.

Bynum is not Jabbar. He's not Wilt. He may not even be Shaq. However, at the ripe age of 20 his potential is unmatched in this league. Laker fans are in good hands.

Lakers in Chris' Webb?

2007-11-26T15:49:00.001-08:00

According to one team official, the Lakers are fiercely pursuing the services of free agent PF Chris Webber to shore up their shortage at the position.

Long known as a favorite of Phil Jackson's, the 6'10 power forward has reportedly narrowed his choice to the Pistons, Mavericks, and Lakers.

Webber would add needed veteran leadership and would no-doubt prove very valuable in the triangle.

Hearbeat.

http://www.thelakersguru.com/

STOD (Stat-of-the-Day)

2007-11-26T09:16:00.000-08:00

The un-ranked UCLA Bruins football team (5-3 Pac-10, 6-5 overall) has a legitimate shot of representing their conferenece in the Rose Bowl on January 1.

If UCLA upsets #8 ranked USC at the Coliseum this Saturday, and Arizona beats #13 Arizona State, the Bruins will earn the coveted BCS berth. The Trojans, who are favored by 20 points, are guaranteed a spot in the Rose Bowl should they beat the Bruins this weekend.

I don't know about you, but I like the UCLA men's basketball team's chances in the Rose Bowl more than the football squad's. A healthy USC team would beat Ohio State (the most likely Big-10 representative) by two TD's.

www.thelakersguru.com/football

UCLA Love'n Life

2007-11-21T00:09:00.000-08:00

Behind 21 points and 11 rebounds from Diaper Dandy Kevin Love, #1 ranked UCLA beat #10 Michigan State 68-63 to capture the CBE Classic Championship last night.

The Spartans physically man-handled the Bruins early in the game, causing UCLA to miss its first nine attempts from the field and 22 of 29 field goals in the first half. After missing his first four shots, it became obvious that Love relished the brand of basketball MSU offered. The 6'10 center finished the first half with 11 points and eight rebounds and proceded to foul out MSU big men Idong Ibok and Raymar Morgan in the second half.

Kevin Love is good at basketball. He's fundamental. He's the best passing big man in the game. And, he will lead the blue-and-gold to their first NCAA championship since 1995.

www.thelakersguru.com/buildmuscle

Lakers Pull Trigger on Trevor Ariza

2007-11-20T16:06:00.000-08:00

After almost trading Kwame Brown to the Sacramento Kings for Ron Artest earlier this week, Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak made what might be the best trade of his career this afternoon.

Kupchak traded Brian Cook and Maurice Evans to the Orlando Magic for Trevor Ariza. The ultra-athletic 6'8 small forward has been buried on the bench behind Rashard Lews and Hedo Turkoglu most of this season.

Ariza is younger (22) than Ron. He's more athletic than Ron. He's cheaper ($3.1 million) than Ron. And, his athleticism will give the Lakers the athletic defensive presence they so desperately need to spell Kobe.

Mitch, you're no longer ridiculous. Nice work.

www.thelakersguru.com/hunting

Dodgers Go Fishing

2007-11-20T14:38:00.000-08:00

In a relatively weak free agent market for starting pitching this off-season, Dodger GM Ned Colletti has reportedly cast overseas for help.

The (potential) catch: 95-MPH hurler Hiroki Kuroda, 32, a right-hander for the Hiroshima Carp of the Japanese Central League. Kiroda is expected to command a salary in the three-year, $22 million range. Roughly 15 major league clubs are interested.

Colletti has remained tight-lipped, but is rumored to be heavily involved in negotiations to bring the middle-of-the-rotation pitcher to Los Angeles. Current Dodger closer, Takashi Saito, is said to have a close friendship with Kuroda.

www.thelakersguru.com/baseball

Meet USC Hoops' Newest Student Athlete

2007-11-20T07:10:00.000-08:00

Actor/Rapper Percy Romeo Miller (Lil' Romeo) has signed a letter of intent with USC to play basketball. The Beverly Hills High School prep star, and son of hip-hop mogul Master P, averaged 13.9 points and 5.6 assists per game during the 06/07 season.

During his press conference yesterday Miller said, "hopefully [signing with USC] sends a message to kids across the country that education is more important than money."

Lil' Romeo made his annoucement at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills.

http://www.thelakersguru.com/

Lakers Were Close to Acquiring Artest

2007-11-19T23:56:00.000-08:00

Sources close to the team say that before Kwame Brown injured his knee in the first quarter of Sunday night's game against the Chicago Bulls, the Sacramento Kings and Los Angeles Lakers had agreed in principle to swap Brown for Ron Artest. According to the same insider, the deal has been pulled off the table due to Brown's now-diagnosed MCL sprain.

Wow, Mitch, you've really done it this time. You are now the most ridiculous GM in the NBA.

www.thelakersguru.com

Welcome

2007-11-18T16:47:00.000-08:00

I am the L.A. Sports Guru. Welcome to the site. We are here to talk about all things sports-LA: Lakers, Clippers, Dodgers, Angels, Kings, Ducks, Trojans, Bruins, Sparks, Galaxy, Chivas USA, etc.

This is a meeting ground of sorts for people like you and me. This website is about sports in Los Angeles, by the people who love (or hate) to watch. I want the guru in you to define this space. Participation is highly encouraged.

Collectively we will give publish an honest assesment of the L.A. ball clubs and their personel. We applaud accomplishment, effort, and loyalty. We disapprove of selfishness, narcissism, and deceit.

This is a call to action. It's time to rise up.

www.thelasportsguru.com