Hell Hath No Fury...

What is the deal with Brett Favre? Enough.

The Packers front office - seeing this as the perfect opportunity to wean their young star, Aaron Rogers off of Brett Favre's teet - forced him to retire. It is impossible to believe that anyone with as much passion for anything as Brett Favre has for football would ever quit, especially after such a magical season. It doesn't happen.

The Guru is a Favre fan - always have been and always will be. But, c'mon. Tonight, on the eve of the Tim Donaghy sentencing, the Angels buried Dice-K with a 6-run 6th inning in Boston. Big stories! You know what Sportscenter spent 15 minutes reporting on? Packers training camp.

Brett is the jealous ex-wife. Aaron is the hot new girlfriend.

Stay with me here.

The analogy goes like this: Wife meets husband. It's love at first site. Everyone immediately hits it off. After a few kids [see: Super Bowls], things taper off. Nothing exciting. So, husband seeks out a little something on the side. A little hottie by the name of Aaron - from California. Mediocrity at home continues. Then, husband starts bringing the new flame to parties [see: 11/29/07 @ Irving].

Now, wife gets a little more possessive. She sees the change. Nobody is hiding anything. So, as one last hurrah she plans something very special! A 13-3 regular season and one interception from another trip to the Big Game. Husband tells wife that things are over anyway. The flame can't be re-kindled. It is time to let go. So, begrudgingly, ways are parted.

Well, ex-wife is starting to show up at parties now - looking crazy. She's stealing the spotlight. Her make-up is all over the place. She's spouting off. The new wife waits patiently, but patience is beginning to wear thin.

My personal opinion? Glad you asked. I'd like to quote William Congreve (circ. 1697) here if I may. It was Bill who said, "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned." Need I say more?

The truth of the matter is, there are only two ways to deal with a situation like this. Bring your old lady back into the picture and deal - she did bear your children after all. Or, buy a one way ticket to Iceland with no plans of ever returning - until she's dead. She will win this war. She will make it her life goal. Her top priority. You will lose.

Do you think trading him is the answer? He'll dedicate his playing days to make yours a living hell.

Bring Favre back. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll leave on his own terms someday. Until then, it's bye-bye hottie. Hello again to the same woman you've been waking up next to over and over and over again for as long as you can remember.

Vintage Brett Favre Jerseys!