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Hell Hath No Fury...

What is the deal with Brett Favre? Enough.

The Packers front office - seeing this as the perfect opportunity to wean their young star, Aaron Rogers off of Brett Favre's teet - forced him to retire. It is impossible to believe that anyone with as much passion for anything as Brett Favre has for football would ever quit, especially after such a magical season. It doesn't happen.

The Guru is a Favre fan - always have been and always will be. But, c'mon. Tonight, on the eve of the Tim Donaghy sentencing, the Angels buried Dice-K with a 6-run 6th inning in Boston. Big stories! You know what Sportscenter spent 15 minutes reporting on? Packers training camp.

Brett is the jealous ex-wife. Aaron is the hot new girlfriend.

Stay with me here.

The analogy goes like this: Wife meets husband. It's love at first site. Everyone immediately hits it off. After a few kids [see: Super Bowls], things taper off. Nothing exciting. So, husband seeks out a little something on the side. A little hottie by the name of Aaron - from California. Mediocrity at home continues. Then, husband starts bringing the new flame to parties [see: 11/29/07 @ Irving].

Now, wife gets a little more possessive. She sees the change. Nobody is hiding anything. So, as one last hurrah she plans something very special! A 13-3 regular season and one interception from another trip to the Big Game. Husband tells wife that things are over anyway. The flame can't be re-kindled. It is time to let go. So, begrudgingly, ways are parted.

Well, ex-wife is starting to show up at parties now - looking crazy. She's stealing the spotlight. Her make-up is all over the place. She's spouting off. The new wife waits patiently, but patience is beginning to wear thin.

My personal opinion? Glad you asked. I'd like to quote William Congreve (circ. 1697) here if I may. It was Bill who said, "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned." Need I say more?

The truth of the matter is, there are only two ways to deal with a situation like this. Bring your old lady back into the picture and deal - she did bear your children after all. Or, buy a one way ticket to Iceland with no plans of ever returning - until she's dead. She will win this war. She will make it her life goal. Her top priority. You will lose.

Do you think trading him is the answer? He'll dedicate his playing days to make yours a living hell.

Bring Favre back. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll leave on his own terms someday. Until then, it's bye-bye hottie. Hello again to the same woman you've been waking up next to over and over and over again for as long as you can remember.

Vintage Brett Favre Jerseys!

9/13/08 - Save the Date

I have a friend - a nice guy. Let's call him "Sam". Sam's family is filthy rich. I grew up with him - we went to grade school together. Sam took the easy classes. He got decent grades. Then he got into a great college (his dad's alma mater). He barely made it through four years. He had a lot of fun. Sam graduated. And ever since that day, he has hop-scotched from company to company, job to job (where his parents have contacts) without making any progress in the real world.

How does someone get through the day like that? Sam walks through life with a safety net, only to lose, over and over again, when it really counts.

I have another friend who is a die-hard Ohio State Buckeye fan. After getting whipped by an SEC team for the second straight year in the BCS Championship game last January, he turned to me and said, "Well, it's better to get there an lose than not to get there at all."

And that got me thinking...

OSU is no different from a trust fund kid [see: Sam]. The OSU boosters are rich with cash. The recruits are rich with talent. Their schedule includes teams like Youngstown State, Ohio, Troy and Northwestern. They routinely cruise to a 9-0 record before they play Michigan in what is touted every year as the "greatest rivalry in college football". And then, somehow, they use their connections to sneak into the BCS Championship game only to get waxed by whichever SEC team they happen to play.

This is why I'm so excited for Saturday, September 13 when OSU travels to Southern Cal. The Buckeyes will get a taste of the real world BEFORE they graduate this year - a Fall internship. And I'll bet they won't get a chance to do so much as grab Pete Carroll's coffee before they drop out of school all together.

Back

Back from sabbatical!

We've got a lot to cover: the Lakers' near miss in the NBA Finals, the Dodgers lead the NL West, the NBA draft, USC football, UCLA football, the upcoming NFL [see: fantasy] season, and why the Los Angels of Anaheim are the best team in baseball.

Also, nobody will be watching the Olympic Games this summer. I'll tell you why and how to change them so people will.

February

When it rains, it pours. Riddled with injuries, most notably to prodigal center Andrew Bynum - scheduled to miss another six weeks of action with a knee injury - the Lakers' are preparing for a grueling nine game road tour of the Eastern Conference.

The Lake Show will miss slashing small forward Trevor Ariza, 6'10 sharpshooter Vladamir Radmonovic, and back-up center Chris Mihm on this trip. And to make matters worse, Team Captain Kobe Bryant went down twice in their most recent contest against the Dallas Mavericks. While the injuries ended up being minor, they are yet another sign that this team is hurting depth-wise. Ariza, out with a broken foot, will not be available to spell Bryant for another seven weeks.

But will the roadie really be that bad? I'm here to tell you that it won't. And this is why. As has been noted before in this very blog, this young team's chemistry is unwavering. And nothing bonds a team more than a road trip.

"They've lost three of their last four!" you say. "Kobe is going to tire himself out carrying the load."

That's true. But, take note...this team hasn't been blown out. They don't roll over. In fact, with the exception of the Phoenix game, the Lakers actually had control of the game for three of the four quarters. They shot 56% from the field in big D and lost! They lose control in the third quarter where they have been outscored 66-31 in their last two contests.

Controlling the third quarter is the mantra this team must embrace on this long, cold, ruthless road trip. If they can, a .500 record is not out of the question.

Kobe Bryant Vintage Apparel